Part 14

Part 14

Although I disapprove of the decision made without my say so, I have no other choice than to go along with it, but I didn't say I was going to like it. While I lay here, I look up at the toys that Heather and Mike put on my crib, and I think they really love me. I know they love me, I get kisses, hugs, they talk to me, and try to teach me to do things on my own, like blow kisses. It’s really easy to do, all I need to do it put my hand to my mouth and remove it, easy enough; plus it makes them smile, so I’ve been doing it even when they don’t ask me too because I love them, just as much as they love me. I don’t want to leave from here, I know that I’m safe, loved,  and I wouldn’t have to deal with the things I went through while I was at my mom’s. Most people think because we’re babies we don’t understand, we may not understand what is going on or what’s being said, but we can understand emotions; and just like someone else’s emotions can play with yours, your emotions can play with ours, and sometimes damage the fabric within us. We learn from the people we’re around and some adults just don’t get it, but Heather and Mike does; they get it.

Anytime they have something to say about me or the situation that they’re in because I’m here, they never speak in front of me. They always go into another room and close the door. Most times they both come out in tears but never miss out on the opportunity to love up on me because when they cry, I do something they think is cute, like blowing them kisses, and they fall for it every time. Today, today they both seem stressed. They haven’t seen their own children in weeks, they look tired, and must’ve aged from the time I went into the hospital until now. Mike comes to get me out of my crib, he changes me, and takes me to the living room. First day home and I’ve only been in here for a little while and guess what; it’s tummy time! I love tummy time, these two are so silly, they roll around and it’s so funny seeing their faces change but when I get the hang of it I’m going to show them how it’s done.

We were on the floor for a long time but I was enjoying myself, I guess they wanted to make up for the tummy time I lost while in the hospital. Then the doorbell started to chime, Heather got up leaving Mike and I on the floor to play on our own. He thought he was slick and tried to roll right in front of me but I put a stop to that. I raised my hand slowly and came down to catch myself and ended up catching him in the eye. I felt bad at first and wanted to cry but he started to laugh, jumped to his feet, and picked me up to give me kisses. He twirled me around and I caught a glimpse of someone that I thought was only a nightmare in my dreams, my mom. She walked in without a smile but looking around, without making eye contact with me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, it’s like I know she’s my mom but I wasn’t sure because she looks completely different than she does in my dreams, almost humanlike. She raised her arms to take me from Mike, surprised that she was even here I just kept looking at her.  She brought me in close to her and I could smell everything, everything that has caused me problems from the start. I hurl backwards screaming at the top of my lungs, but it didn’t stop there. I found out the semi-hard way that my mom didn’t have a firm grip and wasn’t ready for me to react the way I did. I went flying from her arms but Mike grabbed me just before I hit the floor. I was now beyond scared of her, I was petrified, and the thought of her holding me made it even worse. I started to freak out as soon as she sat on the sofa and reached out her arms for me again. I screamed, pulled at my ears, mouth, and hair. I didn’t want to be bothered and I wanted to show her I didn’t want any dealings with her. Heather came over to get me to calm me down, she sat next to my mom, and took me into her arms; I was safe again.